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Ten Thousand Words On One Hundred Grand
Ten Thousand Words On One Hundred Grand
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A part of the opening is Laurie and Doug giving decorating advice to a https://spankingporn.vip/ while-shifted Pilgrims. Fortunately, the Pilgrims are only actors, as a result of actual Pilgrims would in all probability have the decorating duo in the pillory with their ears nailed to the wood. Laurie's violating gown codes (circa 1620) and Doug is, let's be sincere here, Doug. If they didn't discover something to hate after one or two episodes they would not be making an attempt laborious sufficient. That is followed by a shot of Amy Wynn and another Pilgrim sawing a log with a two-individual saw whereas Ty tries to look busy. Ty suggests a cordless noticed. Well, that is form of what it's already. The trenches: The room Doug will likely be abusing is a kitchen/dining-room/dwelling-room combo. Which is, to my eyes, gaudy and cramped. And these things is new? Cripes. Homeowners: Tina and James. Laurie's sufferer room is an extended however not terrible-wanting living room. Its essential downside is that it looks, well, actually really lived-in. But I'm being polite. I do not like it a lot, either. Homeowners: John and Barbie. (A blonde named Barbie. They're all blondes, aren't they?) They even have canine, so Barbie doesn't want anything "too fancy", because she has animals. You got Laurie in there, you realize that? I'd drive this car into a wall if it weren't for the other individuals on the street! Ah, Laurie and Doug go purchasing. Laurie, being the fantastic person she is, is backseat driving, saying she is aware of the best way to get to Beacon Hill. She follows this up by proclaiming to the primary set of ears she sees (an antiques vendor) that Doug's driving is just not up to par. She additionally will get the vapours (a minimum of, that's what it seemed like) when telling the supplier that she's responsible for half 100 grand in cash. Antique vendor instantly tries to sell her all the pieces in arm's reach. He knows his clients, that's for sure. You've watched this show before... proper? Ah, one of the homeowners has already talked about that she needs to maintain her beloved flooring. And already I hear each carpenters talking about their Designing Overlords replacing the flooring. It's already shaping as much as be a regular day at the races. Decadent: Within the strategy of ethical or physical decay. Laurie buys a $2,800 chair and squeals that she's "sooooooooo decadent!" She also mentions that she has carte blanche, "No one to carry me accountable!" for what she does. (Calls up a screencap of the homeowners.) Yep, it's simply a daily day at the races, all proper. Ads with out the commercials: Only Ty, Amy Wynn, and a digicam crew may walk into a home Depot and get help immediately. Ty, ever the gentleman, asks to be helped discover the bathroom. Ty-dor the Burninator: Ty (who, driving a toy car in one other scene, spun out) supposedly blocked the fireplace lane of the house Depot he went to. Math time: if the wood he's taking a look at (and wincing about the price) is $529 per sq. foot, and there's about 100 square ft in the store, how a lot will the lawsuit for just that lumber be if the place burns down? Ad executives. They execute ads. Through the commercial, we see Sony Vega ad primary. Keep in mind that. The Perkinator: Paige explains the foundations, and appears to be about to burst earlier than she mentions the $100,000. When she does point out it, there's much excitement and Barbie accuses Paige of being "filled with it". Should you mean filled with perkiness, you're right. Meanwhile, Tina's vocabulary has devolved into "Stop it! Stop it!" I died in your arms tonight: Laurie, ever the grasp of the refined, tells the newly-arrived homeowners that she is "Dying, I'm dying for you!" Evidently Tina does not want Laurie useless - in opposition to the wishes of a few viewers members, one would suppose - as a result of she continues her litany of "Stop it!" in between different, extra meaningful, words. Laurie also claims she's shaking, and she holds out her hand and shakes it to show it. (Holds out hand and shakes it.) Damn, so am I. Hard to kind with one hand, though. Gender mirrors: Both male homeowners seemed reluctant to hitch their wives in the massive Excited Designer Hug. Don't they make sauce? Product placement alert: Doug's placing in Pergo floors. Crooooooooooooooowbar! Tina and James attempt to pry their neighbor's Tv out of an armoire, but it's wedged in tight. Much endeavoring lastly frees it of its moorings. My evil aspect needed to see them use a crowbar, but they did not, I assume because it's, you know, a bigass expensive Tv. Damn, the destruction quotient might be surprisingly low this episode. Meanwhile, Doug unloaded some new cabinets. Woo! They'll destroy the outdated cabinets! No one can use previous cabinets! Woo! Grrr! Hulk indignant! Hulk run fingers although hair and sigh and say Hulk is confused! Laurie will, she claims, have a major hissy fit if the carpet is glued. It is not, so we're saved a track and dance, and instead subjected to a music and dance about placing down maple floors. She's shaking her arms again too, however with both hands. (Tries it.) TYPUNG WITGH Nose HARDF.L. Prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrybar! Mark, Nathan, and John. No, they're not apostles, they're Doug's crew of friendly Home Depot Product Placement At-Home Services helpers. Wow, between the extendible pointer stick he is been using to level at issues, the name "Operation Sophistication", and his military of builders, he'll be carrying a basic's outfit for the designer chat at the tip of the episode. They've also bought a pry bar! MANLY DESTRUCTION TIME! Airhead vs. Gasbox: Laurie (to her vast and abyssal disappointment) cannot change the gasbox fireplace, as it might take too long. Given the shoddy-work horror tales you hear from some former Trading Spaces victims homeowners, I ponder at replacing it anyway. I can see the headlines now: "Plymouth obliterated in fireball. Homeland Security searching Al-Qaeda agent codenamed 'Laurie Smith'." Drawer Wars: Okay, first the 'Amy Wynn and Ty combat for the router bit tool drawer' gags have been humorous, but they rapidly obtained severely creepy. I don't even need to know what the hell's going on with these boxer-quick-like abominations Ty whipped out - Is that a thing to make it appear like your ass is hanging out? - but I'd prefer to have phrases with someone over it. Painful words. Though I wonder at Amy Wynn's qualifier that this is the primary time she and Ty have crossed paths "as carpenters". I'm secretly hoping it signifies that the subsequent Trading Spaces spinoff might be Trading Spaces: Highlander. You realize, Amy Wynn's walking down a dark alley, then there's that weird sound as Ty steps out of the shadows, they have a flashback to this scene, then they pull out swords and attempt to hack each other's heads off. (If it ever happens, my prayers are with Amy Wynn. Oh, wait, I'm agnostic. Okay, my vitriolic phrases of hatred are with Ty, then.) Heeeeeeere we're, born to be kings.... Well, I assume this Amy Wynn vs. Ty arm wrestling is as shut as I will get to an epic battle at the end of which there could be just one. Paige breaking it up is hardly epic, as nicely. Spank me, I've been a foul bad boy.... Paige took to slapping guys on the ass this episode. First was Ty (though she missed and acquired him closer to the kidney) when he made a ultimate play for Amy Wynn's software drawer. It must have been spontaneous, else I'm positive Ty's scriptwriter (he will need to have one, no mannequin-turned-carpenter might think up this much dialogue) would have put in some low cost-shot remark about having fun with the spanking. Her second victim was a homeowner, John (who's working with Doug), however she appeared to imply it as encouragement as he walks off camera to do some work. He seemed to take it as encouragement, as I heard an off-digital camera "Woo-hoo!" just a few seconds after the slap. I presume the delay was John rapidly checking to verify that Paige, not Doug, had slapped him. I'm so dissatisfied I want to bust up something! They did not bust up the cabinets. Paige is as disillusioned as I'm. Seems that John, not content material with getting his home achieved as he works right here, is taking the cabinets for his garage. Aww, boo. Recyclers be DAMNED! On tonight's Trading Spaces, Ty helps Laurie get in touch together with her interior pimp: No less than, that's what it appears like as he offers her his pimp-flavah massive "$$$" ring and matching dollar-signal neck weight throughout their discussion of the brand new mantle for the fireplace. "Yeah, simply cowl your wedding ceremony ring with that." Evidently he is not trying to make her appear like a single madam as a lot as externalizing her want to spend and spend and spend. Well, he is on the right track then. I simply did not understand that Laurie's internal wishes regarded so very similar to a homey wit' bling-bling. There's bought to be therapy for that. Evidently, the bling-bribe was enough to clean Laurie's thoughts of good ideas: Ty will get to design the leisure middle. It cantilevers. Sounds interesting. Though, if a brand new viewer tuned in whereas he was describing it intimately and the way it will tie into the room, they'd be questioning why the designer's carrying a tool belt and who the girl in the gaudy jewellery is. Oh captain my captain: Doug's acquired a conflict room arrange. I inform ya, he will be Four-Star General Doug before that is over. Oh my God, he is received a wall-sized chart. And Paige is looking it brilliant. For Hastur's sake, do not encourage him! He's additionally summoned Mark, an electrician, from the misty deep. His army is expanding with each passing minute; before lengthy no mortal will be capable to stop his reign. The electrician goes to install lights (recessed fixtures) around the fireplace. Wait a minute, that is Mark the electrician, John the homeowner, and Mark, Nathan, and John the unrelated three-man Home Depot collective. Man, this goes to get complicated. No, it isn't yellow. It's a dark light off-off-yellow. Laurie first seems to be admitting to the truth that her paint palette is, well, restricted. "You know, I attempt to idiot everybody, and it's like... naaaah." Yellow. It'll be yellow. "I do not see this colour as boring. It's a gorgeous rich coloration and I'm using the mistaken instrument to strive get the can top off with...." No, you are using the appropriate tool incorrect. I can see the lid shifting nearly an inch off the can on the far aspect. Because the paint stirrer she's utilizing is simply going to get lined in paint anyway, she ought to just stick it in the can at the boundary between the open a part of the lid and the stuck part, and twist. As she reveals the paint - which is yellow - she fires the primary salvo in her common battle over the exact colour. "I understand it seems to be extra yellow there" - That's as a result of it is yellow! - "but it surely dries a really sort of earthen...." An earthen yellow possibly? James seems to have seen the show before, as he mumbles something that appears like "It dries...." like he's going to say "It dries yellow." however trails off. Laurie, undaunted by my muttered insults and James's nebulous feedback, continues. "It's known as 'Chestertown Buff'." Seems like a porn star. Our Yellow Du Jour has 37 ends in Google, it's so in style. Laurie paints some on the blue wall, so we can all see the glory of not-yellow that she's seeing. On the wall, it seems yellow. So yellow, the truth is, that even she's compelled to admit it. "And on this blue, it's wanting really yellow." No, my pricey, it isn't the blue that's making it yellow, it's the yellow that is making it yellow. Tina tries to be consoling and compromising. I do not suppose she's seen much of this present before, then. She says "I believe Barbie wished yellow. I imply, we can say yellow, okay? We are able to say buff, but it is yellow." But Laurie's not performed yet, no sir. After closing her eyes (to keep away from the damning yellow proof, I presume) and tensing up like she's simply stepped into one thing disgusting, she says "No, but it is not yellow! Eeeee!* Let me go get the swatch; this is gonna drive me crazy, it is not y'all." (*To translate that "Eeee!" into written English: That's "Eeee!" as in "Eeee! This is unpleasant!" not "Eeee! A MOUSE!" or "Eeee! We're completed!" A bad, however not scary, eeee.) Tina, getting sick of Laurie's avoidance of the painting (and the writing) on the wall, points on the yellow and says "Laurie, yellow." as if she was introducing them to one another. I'm considering they're going to need to add a tenth circle to Hell simply to accommodate the bad Trading Spaces designers. Another one! Doug has employed an "artisan" named Ron. Doug explains how he hires artwork groups to do artistic work for all his high end shoppers. I'm positive that will put Barbie at ease, as soon as she goes house and learns that Laurie hasn't employed anybody thus far and is burning time arguing about yellow. Speaking of which.... And another one of these too.... For each employed hand Doug summons, Laurie has an insistence that it's not frickin' yellow. (Not that she'd ever use such phrases herself, no....) Paige has appeared to echo Laurie's sentiment that it that it needs two coats. However, Paige says they want it just to make sure it is actually, surprise surprise, yellow. I wonder at the effective precision with which Laurie reaches the tip of the sentence "It's Chestertown Buff, it isn't..." just as Paige chimes in with "And it seems..." so Paige and the homeowners' shout of "Yellow!" concurrently drowns out Laurie and ends her sentence. Laurie, in response, throws a miniature foot-stamping tantrum. "No it's not, it is BUFF!" She follows this with a giggle, which jogs my memory of a Usenet troll who follows a flame with a smiley face, so you may never fairly tell if he's insulting or just tactless. I do hope her one-yr-outdated son Gibson is watching, he'll learn some great tips for being a brat simply by watching Mommy! Then we'll see a toddler strong sufficient to hoist his mother with her own petard. Ahhh! Prison of love flashback! No, it is not quite brown-grey enough, however Ron explains they're going to be placing a blue-gray plasterish/paintish product on the partitions, which will then be speckled with the same stuff to make a textured wall. Doug does the primary coat (using a roller), then Barbie does the speckling (using a brush). The speckling looks good. Paige fault: Laurie appears to have conveniently forgotten that $a thousand of her budget (she thankfully has $1500 left, I was so nervous) is going to Paige, to take a homeowner looking for the "Paige Gift", an item of the homeowner's choice that the designer can have to use within the room. My suggestion to Tina and James: $1000 of vivid inexperienced paint, or one in every of the other colors Laurie can't use as a most important level of her designs. Oh, and a can of inventory-commonplace yellow, only for comparison functions. Laurie, feeling the cash slipping out of her fingers, bites her finger in considered tips on how to spend her last $500 before Paige grabs it. Apparently, Paige already has some concepts about the place to take the homeowners shopping. She says it is to Laurie's liking. Laurie ain't buying it. Where's the purple-sizzling eye poker? Or the cyanide? The going-to-business bumper was a shot of Ty smothering Amy Wynn with the creepy boxer shorts. In the immortal phrases of A.K. Swift: "Watch me vomit!" Speaking of vomiting.... Sony Vega ad number two. Do not forget that. Oh, and does not the ditty in the background of the "E-Bay bidding" Earthlink advert sound just like the Moon Patrol theme? The Howling: Tina and James discuss how lucky their neighbors are to be scoring all-new furnishings. (And your previous cabinets, sister.) Tina, however, mentions that they have a giant ol' "Marmaduke" canine (That's the kind of animals they have?) that was allowed on the previous furnishings. Oh, I'm sure that $2,800 chair is going to have excessive resale worth when, as a substitute of something like Laurie's dainty little hips, it will have an enormous mass of slobbering dogflesh parked on it. And don't forget no matter fabric Laurie's received in mind for this room.... James desires to sink their $a thousand reward into a great gate. Meanwhile, Paige springs her Paige Gift on John and Barbie. I notice she would not stress the "Has to make use of it in the room." factor. Or certainly, even have Doug around. Ty vs. Ty: A shot of Amy Wynn. Something sails in from off-digital camera and hits her, eliciting an "Ow! That one damage!". I used to be positive it was Ty, however instead it is Doug proving he is usually a bastard, too. Doug is getting Amy Wynn to make a table. The desk of her dreams. Dougie boy, the desk of her desires is prefab. Though she does caress that wooden really lovingly. Hordes of men watching want to be that wood. The table might be six by three in mahogany and maple. Amy Wynn guarantees to have the constructing of it completed tonight, so it may be completed up tomorrow - evidently the crew does not have the planer wanted to tackle the job. Doug's army of teamsters vs. Laurie's seamster: Finally, Laurie's first signal of employed assist, Daniel, appears. Or, more accurately, Laurie drags Tina into the dank basement-cum-sweatshop where she's trapped the poor man. He's a "skilled 'stitcher', is what the right lingo is for a man". So, what's it for a girl? A stitchress? A stitchrix? A stitchrice? Or may it presumably be a 'stitcher' as nicely? All of it sounded like she was stressing that he was a man. He's a man, we might tell, he seems to be like one, he can sew, large deal, let's move on. Tina has been taken into the dungeons so she will be able to iron. Appliances are better than leisure: Doug speaks to the homeowners about their Paige present. They're leaning extra towards dwelling leisure, encompass sound, and many others. Doug is steering them in the direction of kitchen appliances. Did the man not price range for them, or what...? Dougby and Pokey: Doug remains to be tapping and poking at issues together with his little pointer, from Amy Wynn's wooden to the cabinets. He's additionally demanding to be saluted by his Home Depot fees, now. One among the home Depot people, who I'm calling MarkNathanorJohn, mentions (at Doug's repeated proddings for a realistic ETA on getting the cabinets finished) that it'll be a number of hours "so long as we haven't any more interruptions". Doug asks MarkNathanorJohn if he's implying that Doug is an interruption. MarkNathanorJohn denies it, but homeowner John turns quisling and says that MarkNathanorJohn is indeed implying that. Looks like John's jockeying for the position of Trusted Lieutenant. So Laurie carries a headshot of Doug together with her wherever she goes? Well, at the very least it isn't a headshot of Frank.... Laurie is hiding her face behind a monochrome headshot of Doug (very enticing image, I need to admit, in that noncommittal guy way of admitting one other man seems to be hunky). She's doing this as part of a fancy and totally nonscripted subterfuge focusing on stealing Doug's electrician away to do her electrics work. The gag, while tired, is not as bad because it sounds as a result of this is all shot via the Paige Cam. Laurie, who usually appears to be like at the least sort of cute, tends to appear to be a fish on the Paige Cam. For many of this Paige Cam moment, we can't see her face. Consider all the unborn nuts that died for this mantle! Ty has busted out a brand new walnut wood mantle for Laurie (from a photograph of an identical mantle). Laurie says that, despite the haste, it's the most lovely factor she's ever seen. Well, use good wooden instead of MDF, that happens. Also, working with the Banyan brand looming over him probably reminds him of his evil corporate masters. You do not displease the evil corporate masters, for they are refined and fast to downsize. I, for one, welcome my evil corporate masters! It is the damn basic they appointed I have problems with: Amy Wynn speaks to the Paige Cam for a moment on how, despite solely working on one house, it feels like 4 because of all that is happening. She also fondles the wood once more. Mahogany. I'd fondle it too. Doug appears to have strange ideas. Doug desires to stain the mahogany black. I do know nothing about wood, but Amy Wynn (getting pressured over the whole affair) seems like she's on the right track when she explains the following: Doug needs the wooden dark, however would not appear to be considering that finishing it's going to darken it to start with. Staining it in addition is simply going to make it appear like they painted it black. The wooden grain can be misplaced in the blackness. Doug's ears don't seem to be burning pink throughout this: He's along with his electrician because the fellow installs the final of the halogen ceiling lights. Doug plays with the dimmer a bit. Maybe he can sense the method of immortals: Ty, sensing James's approach, turns and greets him without any obvious cues that James should be there. For his subsequent trick, he will get James to noticed a bit of wooden. Ty then goes on to show Laurie his sketchbook page devoted to the cocktail table he is doing. I'm glad that the camera angle permits us to see contained in the sketchbook and affirm it is an image of a table: Laurie gasps with such intensity on the sketch that, if we could not see it, we might surprise what else Ty's been sketching. Appliances are better than leisure redux: So that is why Doug doesn't want his folks spending their $1,000 Paige Gift cash on leisure. There's a Sony Vega 42 inch plasma Tv sitting in a trailer outside. Surround sound, laptop that's integrated with the entire mess if Doug is to be believed, the entire shebang. How good's the safety on these shoots, and any thought if they're doing one other $100,000 episode? John's thought on the containers of expensive know-how? "Good thing this is going to James, 'cause I wouldn't be capable to determine it out." (Blink. Blink.) Come ON! You're a man! Tv-related toys and the obtaining thereof are a point of honor for many males! You need to be on your knees praying for one in all these things! You sissy! Of course, I wouldn't need one either, I'd moderately a bigass monitor for my 3.06 GHz Pentium box, however I admit my sissiness. And my geekiness. This promo of types was, all in all, a handy option to do an in-show Sony Vega plug to match those we've seen twice so far within the advert blocks. In unrelated information, apparently John "received the coin toss" (which was additionally off-camera... hmm) and is going out with Paige to hunt down the elusive Paige Gift. Barbie is disenchanted that she has to stay home while her husband will get to exit with Paige. Good thing she missed the ass-slapping and the "Woo-hoo!" some time again, else she'd be extra than just disappointed. I also discover that John is just not so frightened about his wife staying home with Doug and all these burly Home Depot building workers. Oh ye of much religion. Add an advert rant: I do not like screaming babies in advertisements. But this Stainmaster Carpet one actually will get me: Daddy puts his incessantly screaming child on the carpeted ground while he grabs a stuffed animal. Baby falls asleep immediately. As they plug the consolation of the carpet, a disclaimer fades in at the bottom of the display: "It's endorsed infants not sleep on their stomachs." As someone watching with me stated: "It is suggested infants not sleep on their stomachs, but this one isn't ours so we don't give a damn." Zoooom! The present roars again with a shot of Ty driving a souped-up golf cart, shouting to female pedestrians*, and passing a van studying "The (Something) of Mark Connolly". (*The sound has been muted for the musical again-from-business sting, so I do not know what he says.) Kid in a sweet store time: Laurie's so glad about one thing that she has both James and a camera crew in tow as she approaches it. It is a truck. Within the truck is furnishings. And on the furniture is... fabric! Laurie expresses her love for the fabric, and begins caressing the primary piece seen by means of the transport plastic. She continues by giving a plug to the furniture maker and explaining how she selected the fabric for the furniture. (In fact she wouldn't accept inventory upholstering!) She lovingly details, with acceptable closeups, how the yellow in a single piece ties in to the yellow of another piece. Question: Why are these two pieces of furniture covered in pale yellow and yellow/acid green stripes, when the partitions are, by Laurie's insistence, not yellow in any respect? Why are the chairs not Chestertown Buff? Or camel? Or any of one among Laurie's odd paint names? Why? Because she loses herself in the outline of the fabric and doesn't catch herself using the forbidden phrase.... YELLOW! The costs she quotes, at James' request? $4900 for the sofa, $4200 for the love seat, $3900ish for a chair, and someplace between $1600 and $2600 (Laurie's lost count) every for two other chairs. Custom fabrics have their worth. Doug abuses the peons and appeases his masters: During Laurie's furniture lovefest, we lower away for the next bits: 1) Amy Wynn reveals her progress on the desk to Doug. They argue in regards to the completion time, ending with Amy Wynn's "Fifteen (minutes) AND You're not STAINING IT!" 2) Doug and his pointing stick meet with MarkNathanorJohn. MarkNathanorJohn explains how they're installing the new cabinets and the way he just, as a result of he is a nice guy, knocked collectively a piece of conduit so a flooring vent that was ineffective underneath the previous flooring cupboards will now redirect out into the kitchen. Doug says how much he loves MarkNathanorJohn's work. The gods of Home Depot smile and nod and see it is nice. They promise to offer Doug one other slave to push around. 3) Amy Wynn reveals Barbie find out how to do mitered edges with a chop saw. Get moving or I'll plant another one on your ass! Paige and her slapping pal John are off to blow $1000. And they're off in a stretch limo. Paige notices that John appears nonchalant about the limo and the $1000 money Paige is brandishing. Of course he is, he is bought Paige in the backseat with him and he's subsequently mechanically kicked into "suave" mode. I imply, Paige in the backseat of a limo with a lot of cameras, what extra may a guy want? For the remainder of this purchasing journey, I'm calling John "Spanky". Ty reveals more of his sketchings to ladies: Tina's learning about the table that makes Laurie gasp. Tina, in distinction, is gasp-free. Meanwhile, Barbie's not an apt pupil at Amy Wynn's chop noticed. The blade stops halfway through a chunk of wood and the machine begins screaming like a banshee with its leg in a bear entice. Amy Wynn has Barbie stop and explains what happens when you set an excessive amount of force on the handle. Barbie, supposedly wiser for the lesson, then starts up once more and the screeching begins once more. Reacting to the "an excessive amount of force" screeching, she puts each arms on the handle and begins utilizing twice as a lot power as earlier than. Now commences Amy Wynn shouting "TURNITOFFTURNITOFFTURNITOFF!" over the blade's unholy rasp. The blade off, she calmly (I do not understand how) says "You've acquired my noticed just a little angry." Well, the noticed is likely to be offended, but I don't assume it is the noticed that's most likely seeing visions of twisting this Barbie doll's head till it comes off. Ty packs his wood and Tina into a car to go on a quest for heavier hardware facilities. Guy doing gal things: Shh, it's a Best Buy. Shhhh! Paige and Spanky arrive at a Best Buy, a incontrovertible fact that is barely obvious if you happen to see the mirrored emblem and the occasional in-retailer sign. I'm guessing they didn't pay sufficient advert dollars. Now, we see Spanky's fantasies about going out with Paige dashed hopelessly in opposition to the rocks of reality. While she is a woman, and he a man, there's nonetheless something separating them: She's a girl, and he is a man. A lady and a man who are purchasing. Paige starts to mull over the relative advantages between a toaster and a toaster-oven, whereas Spanky simply needs to grab the first thing that appears like a toaster and go. Paige, being the nice hostess, provides in simpler than any self-respecting woman ever should. Gal doing guy issues: She's out with Ty. Shhhh! While on their area trip to the Magic Land of Big Routers, Ty - referring to himself within the third particular person - corrects Tina's misconceptions of a excessive-tech router, which he claims will not be so very like a "funky noticed" (in Tina's words) as it's just like the Terminator. Insert your California recall joke here. However, Ty rapidly defers to the Keeper of the Router for extra complex data. In this the Keeper fails, basically regurgitating Ty's phrases but with more jargon and less action movie references. Guy doing gal issues, half 2: It is a bust. And cease looking at Paige's! Paige declares the buying trip "a bust". Now we know Best Buy did not pay a lot. But Spanky has an idea! A Playstation for the youngsters! Imagine taking part in that on the bigscreen Tv! Paige says, "Oh, dude, you are pondering!" What he hasn't thought of is that there's going to be a holy war over that Tv when the parents want to look at cable and the children wish to play Crash Bandicoot. Gal doing guy things, part 2: What-what-WHAT? Ty discusses one thing with Tina over the router noise. It sounds to me like "I really feel the goowa bafudgeit! 'Cuz I fava mudgeit! Az az a good looking factor!" Tina responds with "Take a stroll down to my house subsequent!" I think Ty's talking about how you may make stunning things with a large price range. Nepotism! Doug has employed an outdated coworker (nicely, an old manager, I believe - Doug used to work in his shop) named Chris to help Amy Wynn do some wainscoting work. Doug kisses Amy Wynn to accelerate the work. Chris declines the same boon. That's a lovely wainscoat: So, of two pronunciations of 'wainscoting' I found in all of the dictionaries I checked and one I found only in a number of, they went for the rarer one. Okay, wonderful. I hear "Postal 2" is actually good. Let's get that. Ah, the wonders of selecting a game to go together with the PS2. After Paige and her pal present their incompetence at playing, Spanky grabs a recreation and says "This looks like a kid's game." An extremely scientific technique to do it, in comparison with, say, the ranking. Paige says it appears more like a child's recreation than, say, (Paige grabs semirandom title) "this". Some rewinding and fastforwarding later and that i realized it was Everquest! Bwa-ha-ha! An ideal plug for the Evercrack Elven Princess and her twin Boobs of Fanboy Attraction +5! Paige, joyful about their reasoned choice of game, lets out a scream. Little question the other customers, who I'm sure are even now being held in the far aspect of the shop by TLC safety goons, have been completely satisfied to listen to her whoop of ecstasy. Lil' Miss Eloi visits her pet Morlock: Laurie gasps, either as a result of her basement stitcher has completed the gold desk skirts he was doing, or because the Paige whoop within the last scene deafened her. "Oh, it is so nice!" Definitely the skirt, then. Seeing one completed, with yellow-gold topper fabric, elicits an additional half-moaned "Oh, that's lovely." I mentioned it, there's an orgasmically joyous squeal coming up. Are they wearing seatbelts? With 770 dollars left after buying the PS2 - It was only $230 after taxes, with a sport? - Paige and Spanky discuss their subsequent stop. Spanky, clearly attempting to recall the line from memory, says: "What about Home Depot has a... a... residence retailer!* Home Style... retailer! And it is all high-finish appliances... uh, or hi-excessive-end** things for your own home." He then adds a hastily-mumbled, "We are able to go there." *Paige quietly starts to immediate him earlier than he catches himself. **He gives the PS2 field he is holding a slap to emphasise his point - or his frustration - here. Poor Spanky, Paige is making you're employed on your new cabinets. In all fairness, although, Paige's angst-ridden look, supposedly as she was weighing benefits of the 20 minute one-approach trip to the home Depot store, followed by a determined "STEP ON IT!" to the limo driver, was solely nominally more authentic and far more annoying than Spanky's hack job on the house Depot line. In another dimension, Doug pushes "Barbie Doll" into some sewing, so she "steps on it" and zips through about $5 of the 75-dollar-a-yard silk curtains instantly. Doug admonishes her and speaks menacingly of messing up 300 dollars in silk. Now all Barb has to do is tick off Paige and she'll have aggravated the complete holy trinity of Designer, Carpenter, and the Perky Host. Poor girl, tv life isn't treating her properly at all. Though, if Doug's using 75-greenback-a-yard silk for drapes, what's Laurie going to do to trump him? $200 per yard? And one other thought: If Doug's so nervous about the silk, why's he drinking proper over it? Meanwhile, with the competent feminine homeowner.... Ty, now again at the home, takes a break from the cocktail table of routing wonders to show Tina how his master plan on the shelving system goes. After a lot moaning and groaning, he fits the leisure middle shelving system into place on the long run wall mount. They don't precisely slide as a lot as they are often yanked out of place and stuck into a slightly completely different horizontal position. But hey, better to have a snug match than to have all of your CDs fall out of the shelf. He additionally referred to as down the routing magic on the shelving system, to make fantastic horizontal grooves into which CD jewel cases match. Tina reiterates her want to get Ty in her house. Then he says "Are you crazy? There isn't any room for me over there!" Oh, great. Now Tina knows in regards to the Legions of Doug ravaging the land while she was locked in the basement with a stitcher. I went to the World Expo in Montreal. It was manner cooler than this. Paige and Spanky pull up in front of the Expo Design Center. I thought they'd the mistaken place till I saw the comparatively tiny writing "A home Depot Company" under the identify. Between his manly buying approach and his admitted lack of technology ability, he goes for the blender that, as Paige says, just has an on and off swap. My blender's older than I am and it has more options than that. We now pause for a break from the Spank & Mindy present. Back home, Barbie is offended (heh heh) that Paige and Spanky are off having enjoyable. Doug turns the screws a bit about the money, the limo, Paige.... Hey, I'd fairly him off in a limo with Paige and a thousand dollars than him off alone in a limo with a thousand dollars. Paige isn't a girl now, she's a woman who's purchasing. Whole 'nother being proper there. She's about as sexy as a lifeless fish to an average man proper now. Doug turns the screws a bit more, invoking the work "perky". Because you know that every screaming tryst is described as "perky". Spanky is doing all the homework tonight. Bad, dangerous Spanky. We now end our pause. Paige, showing her perkiness, attempts to buy a lot of the store before realizing her budget won't hold. She screams a bit too. I hope Barb didn't hear that. After the commercial, and with darkness lurking outdoors the home windows, they arrive dwelling. Doug struggles with the video sport title "Jak and Daxter", renaming it "Jak and Dax. Ter." Barb hopes they've greater than that. Paige: "After all We have More than THAT!" I was hoping she'd say they blew it all on champagne, a hot tub, and a few strippers. But it is a family show. Not that Paige dresses all that much heavier than the Everquest babe. (Though Paige has never been chained to an altar, a lot to the dismay of a number of the fanbase.) Doug seems to be anticipating more than six(ish) packing containers. When there is not, he falls back into diplomat mode and says "Well, that is a lot! Cool-cool-cool-cool." Paige is $sixty eight beneath finances, by the best way. It's sunny once more! Ty drives out to see Amy Wynn. He uses, in fact, his tremendous golf cart. He almost goes into the same spin he did with a toy automobile at the top of the episode. Amy Wynn has sufficient faith to not dive for cowl, the idiot. The 2 carpenters commiserate about their workloads and exalt at the true Wood they're using. Amy Wynn explains Doug's want to abuse the mahogany with ebony stain. Ty, being Ty, says "Ebony and mahogany? Ain't that a song?" Sadly, Amy Wynn does not belt-sand his face off. It's dark again? Paige declares the fading daylight, which has began to fade after its brief stint of being darkish, then mild once more. The second-shift Home Depot individuals are putting Doug's ground in. He berates Spanky - sorry, "John" - for being out all day with Paige. Laurie shows off her maple floors. Cinnamon-colored maple floors. Brown, who'da thunk it? Though it does look good. Homework: General Doug's two conscripted grunts will probably be painting the ceiling while the home Depot hirelings do the ground. That strikes me as a dance and a half, except everyone learns methods to wall-walk. Laurie needs her folks to install the flooring. Oh, wait, she's simply kidding! A 4-person Home Depot crew are doing the flooring. In reality, the homeowners must polyurethane the wall-shelf thingy and paint the molding for the room. Paige confronts Doug on the wood staining. He refuses to debate it, for he is the general. Except he can't inform the distinction between home and Home Depot anymore. Paige says they're both delirious. The legions are probably contemplating relieving him of command. Doug obviously hasn't discovered the trick of mainlining some caffeine crystals. If it doesn't kill you, you will keep up for weeks! Oh, and father mutant children. Paige additionally makes use of the super golf cart to drive Laurie dwelling, or to no matter non permanent domicile is serving the role thereof. When Laurie lists the day's achievements, Paige responds with "No! Get out!" and stops the cart. Laurie finishes talking and gets out of the cart. Wow, I did not think Paige really meant that determine of speech actually. Abandoning Laurie in the midst of nowhere with nothing but a digital camera crew, floodlights, and no matter transportation the camera crew's utilizing? How will she ever get dwelling? What a heartless bitch. No-drip paint roller: Barbie and John talk about the painted ceiling. They've religion in Doug, despite the fact that they think it's weird to paint a ceiling. Woah, that's saying something. It's saying one thing else that John's utilizing a clean white roller to paint the ceiling grey. Tiring of this feat, he also helps set up the crown molding. The son of Appliances are better than entertainment: Paige, with an umbrella and in several clothing from the day's filming, springs the free Tv/audio system/and so forth. factor on James and Tina. Wow, I guess self-confessed tech-illiterate John is getting a fancy-schmancy Tv as effectively. Paige calls Tina "Dude!" but forgets that the Dell Dude and his ilk made that little bit of vernacular gender-neutral. She says "I just referred to as you both dudes! I'm delirious!" Maybe we should relieve her of command. I do know this man named Joe who's got internet hosting experience. Paige then springs the pc shock as effectively. Tina responds with "Cut the s---!" and is sensible enough to understand that she's going to be getting similar surprises. James, after Paige leaves, suggests asking for much more stuff, since the whole lot they've considered to this point has been included. Ah, smart homeowner wants to milk this for all it's value. Day 2. Well, Day 1.9999: Doug, in more informal duds as properly, will get to lug the still-perky and nonetheless-informally-dressed Paige into the half-finished room (at 2 AM) to examine the paint job. He sees spots on the ceiling. I feel he is simply seeing spots, interval. He sends Paige house for her magnificence sleep. Maybe he is seeing spots and thinks she's received acne or one thing. Barbie says that Paige would not want magnificence sleep. Doug kisses Paige on the cheek. Paige says, dreamily - as a result of she's about to fall asleep - "I feel extra stunning already!" and leaves. First Amy Wynn, now Paige. My God, I'm getting jealous of Doug. Someone shoot me. Over at Casa Del Maple Floor, one of the friendly hardworking Home Depot people (who work all evening on issues for everyone, I'm certain) semi-jokingly decides to take a 5 hour coffee break. His head's most likely on a pike at Home Depot's company HQ proper now. Paige, feeling considerably ineffective with the pile of skilled professionals around, lastly goes dwelling. Her meandering speech makes me think the left side of her brain (or her scriptwriter) has already gone to sleep. Whatever she's taking, I would like some. Paige, inhumanly perky as ever, exhibits up after 3 hours of sleep to start out Day 2 correct. Laurie, upon seeing the floors, sits down on them and starts.... What? Oh, no, do not do the splits. Don't do them, don't do them don'tdothem don'tdothemdon'tdothem ARRRRRRRGH! Well, not fairly the splits, however whatever it was, it was neither ladylike nor within my range of consolation. Fortunately, the marble fireplace isn't giant sufficient for her to sprawl on. Doug finds his prices taking a look at some electronics and the instruction manuals of said electronics. John claims there is not any English directions, only French. You already know he simply burned the English ones so he wouldn't get caught having to read them and put the stuff collectively. Jester romances: Now that Doug's military has apparently left and is wantonly redecorating the countryside, I'd prefer to entertain you with a bit of purple prose. She, with gentle and adoring contact, caressed her one true love. She recited her love's virtues in detail, for all to listen to. She took this symbol of perfection into her arms and proclaimed with a breathy voice that "This, this is drapery." Yep, Laurie's drapes have arrived. And that i defy anybody to jot down a extra correct description of Laurie's habits in this scene. Oh, by the way in which, this scene additionally introduces Greg, the second of Laurie's fabric wranglers - compared to Doug's, say, none - one she in all probability had in an outsourced dungeon. As her newest (and solely second, not counting the ground labor) indentured slave hangs the drapes, Laurie lays some carpet, customized reduce by a firm in her adopted residence town. It looks faintly like a big Tetris piece. Doug's timing is way off. Maybe he needs a brand new belt. Doug is actually searching for Barbie and John's okay for something. Seems that he does not just like the tile on the fireplace and would like to put some marble up. Considering that he inpergonated the tile floor towards the homeowner's earlier needs, I do not assume he ought to start searching for permissions at this late stage. Nice legs. Amy Wynn's working on the desk legs. Paige has turned traitor and is saying staining the desk will not be so bad. Perhaps General Doug threatened to have her shot... ... and possibly with the nail gun he's using to nail the wainscoting onto the wall. We love Greg. We wish to present Greg a medal. As Laurie's giving considered one of her trademark Speeches About Things She Doesn't Know Much About, she says "The pleat up top - he did the pinched pleat as a result of...." Greg interrupts her. "Gathered." Laurie responds with a sideways glance and a terse "Thank you." before persevering with her lecture on how the drapes have gathered pleats to make them contemporary and informal. She ends with, "So these are real relaxed" - suddenly she quickens her speech - "Italian-silk-drapery-that-cost-six-thousand-dollars!" She additionally twitches like she's fighting a want to do the Funky Chicken. Just because he doesn't remember it doesn't mean he won't miss it! Doug, Paige, and Barbie sit on the floor and begin unwrapping the various kitcheny accouterments Doug bought. So many he is misplaced observe of what he purchased. Paige, maybe still a bit of mentally fried after solely three hours of sleep, starts enjoying with some contraption that appears like wooden spoons tied collectively at their middle. Not garnering enough consideration with this, she grabs a bowl and inverts it, not noticing that there was something inside. The net impact of that is that she dumps one tissue-lined and probably-fragile object onto one other possibly-fragile object. Doug has the horror-adopted-by-a-quick-tempered-scolding response you'd anticipate of someone in his sneakers. Then Barbie pipes up and says, in a tone I have not heard since my last encounter with an elementary faculty tattle-tale, "She's simply trying to get you over price range. She's gonna break it!" Ladies and gentlemen, we've the hat trick. First Amy Wynn with the noticed, then Doug with the sewing machine, now Paige with the accessories. She has put in a solid try at ticking all three of them off. As it was, the dropped object was just wood bowls and nothing else appeared broken. Just a bit more fabric... Laurie's bought Tina and James working on reupholstering kitchen-kind chairs. She tries to freak Tina by appearing like Tina staple-gunned her finger. Wait 'til you get again to your home and see the drapes. You'll have an embolism! Doug shows the difference between a $1,500 high-end lamp that he obtained from somebody in the same constructing as his art studio and a $sixty five thrift-store buy. Not much, the way in which he's talking. I assume he doesn't want to buy from that person again.... Barbie gasps on the $1,500 value tag. Paige and Barbie favor the costly one. Just on the color, I need to agree. Though $1,435 seems like a giant markup just for the distinction between icky mustard yellow and sky blue. Oh, and do not forget the costly one's teardrop higher half, in comparison with the other one's cylindrical upper half. And the jangly issues. Doug has stored a minimum of one of his legion for the second day: The artisan named Ron who's painting some plasterish fashionable-artwork thingy on the wall. Flee from the market: Laurie reveals off her mass of equipment. Tina says it seems like a flea market. Laurie says it is far dearer than a flea market. Yeah, nevertheless it nonetheless seems to be like a flea market. Laurie: A $100 tchotchke is still a tchotchke. As if in response to this, she whips out a 19th century sunburst Italian mirror. Tina asks how old it is. Laurie as a substitute tells Tina when she thinks it was made. "It's probably late, late 1800s. Like 1890, probably flip-of-the-century." Excuse me, but when it was flip-of-the-century would not it's a twentieth century sunburst Italian mirror? James, as he's accomplished all episode, notably with the chairs, allows Laurie her massive moment: He asks the worth. About $1800. Man, she likes that quantity. Dates, prices, if it isn't within the 1800 range it isn't worth it. The inclusion of fabric, of course, requires an incidental 500% markup. You've by no means requested for one before, why start now? Doug decides, as soon as the countertop is in, to take the unprecedented transfer of asking somebody (specifically, Barbie) for an opinion. She does not prefer it. Surprise! Though, for as soon as, I agree with Barbie utterly. A sample (marble, granite, and so forth.) would look higher than solid white. Doug, performing another marvel in a day already full of wonders, explains his reasoning: "In order for me to place a quality countertop in right here and never go along with a laminate, the one factor available is Corian Glacier White." So, was this a cost situation, a listing concern, what? "Give it an opportunity, as a result of what's going to occur is, by the stuff you placed on the countertops and accessorizing it, and we throw in pops of color, it is all gonna work. And, and, it's gonna... we'll put some life into this place, okay? I believe in the end you're gonna prefer it." I translated that as saying "It might be a pig, but we have not put the lipstick on it yet." Whatever you put on it, it's nonetheless gonna be a stark white countertop. You can't bury all of it! Geometry for rank inexperienced persons: Ty strikes bits of the cocktail table around semi-purposelessly as Laurie seems to be on. Ty appears to be going for a cube. No spanking, so we'll pop some bubble paper. Paige, cruelly snuffing out bubble paper bubbles, declares that the time has come for Tina and James to begin the elusive Paige Gift hunt. Tina and James want to get a whole residence leisure library. Paige appears unimpressed. Tina wins the onscreen coin toss and can be off on the hunt. Damn, no low cost intercourse jokes this time. Happiness is a heat gun. Give one to Doug. No, wait, give it to ME! The place that Amy Wynn took her magnum opus, the mahogany desk, to be sanded, took over 3/eight of an inch - almost A HALF AN INCH - off the table, so now the nails that she punched into the underside of the desk are exhibiting by the highest. Doug wants names and addresses of the perpetrators. At the very least, till Amy Wynn points out that she must faucet in all the nails, leaving an ugly pattern. After that, Doug simply says they won't see it after he stains it. Yeah, except there's still a bunch of nails sticking out the underside of the table! I need Doug's name and handle, then. Oh, wait, I have his identify. Also, as a result of abusing the mahogany with stain wasn't dangerous sufficient, he has to rush-job it and stain the maple along with the mahogany, one thing Amy Wynn cannot guess at the outcome of. Doug admits that he would not know both. Amy Wynn looks about as ticked off as I can be if I spent two days on something and had someone come alongside and wish to screw round with it in methods even HE does not understand. What number of butchers did you need to kill for that, then? Members of Doug's military are rubbing butcher's wax on the walls for reasons I fail to know. Speed up! Speed up! Make pizza out of the cameraman! The limo from the procuring journey yesterday artfully stops in entrance of a cameraman who's busy catching Tina's first glimpse of the limo. Yo, yo, yo! Ty 'State' Pennington is in tha hizzy! Word! The pre-industrial bumper is Ty, confirming my suspicions, in full purple and leopard-print gear, including the bling-bling ring and phat necklace from yesterday. He appears to be like like an additional from Pimps at Sea. Speaking of whoring.... Sony Vega ad quantity three, not counting in-show product placement. Rewind time: What? An ad for the hundred grand show? I'm WATCHING IT! Oh, it's the encore. I idly observe that that they had a black limo in the advert, and a white one in-present. I'm additionally reminded of what a total goddess Amy Wynn is when she's not dressed in butch carpenter gear. Now, we have to see about not dressed, interval. Awwwww. Tina gets all choked up concerning the marvel of all that is happened. Gun! I want the freaking gun! Doug, with Barbie at his facet as a result of Amy Wynn's in all probability in the fetal place someplace, isn't happy with the "skilled" sanding on the table. The staining has made apparent what seems to be like abrasion traces from the sanding. But, in contrast to Doug, I'm also sad with the staining: It appears like someone took a flamethrower to the desk. (Meanwhile, Ty's masterworks, the great-looking shelves and fireplace mantle, are being put in.) Doug decides to get the stain off the maple, then tape the maple up LIKE HE Should HAVE Done IN The primary PLACE, restain any unstained mahogany, then oil-rub the entire table. Doug: I hope Birnam Wood marches to your home and kicks your ass! Ewwwww. Tina units Paige up for catastrophe by using this logic: $One thousand divided by $20/CD or DVD = 500 items. First off, nobody in the identical universe as the RIAA pays that little for a CD newer than 1995 vintage. DVD's ain't low cost either. Second, taxes. Finally, $1000/$20 = 50. Looks like Paige is gonna be the one being instructed she's gone overbudget for a change. As they stand on the checkout, Paige (the sunshine going on) imparts this final bit of wisdom on Tina. Paige has a future career in authorities finances balancing. Tina asks the cashier if they can begin over. The cashier says yes. The cashier is being paid to say yes. Tina says, cryptically, "Only favorites!" So that you had been going to buy motion pictures that your neighbors hated...? Hey, it pays better than 'housewife': Because the shelves go up and Laurie plans the tchotchke invasion, she asks Ty how they'll ever go back to their real jobs. She hastily adds "of Trading Spaces". Ty says "Oh! I thought you meant maintenance." This can be a pleasant manner of firing somebody. "It is the best thing you've ever finished. Oh, by the way, choose up two weeks' pay and clear out your locker. Security will escort you out." Woah. Doppelganger second. Paige speaks to the limo driver briefly, giving him a couple of seconds on camera to brag to the family with. (Looks.) Woah, man, he seems like an older model of this man I worked with final 12 months! Same hair and all the things! HEY BUDDY! You realize A guy NAMED J.C. McLEAN? MarkNathanorJohn MarkNathanorJohn, who's really Mark, helps put the fridge in. Despite homeowner John doing all of the pushing, Doug ignores him to appease the company Gods and proclaim that "The brand new black is orange!" (Orange as in the home Depot shirt coloration.) The corporate Gods should have this one explained to them, for they suppose it is some kind of African-American reference. Run Laurie over! Run a production assistant over! For God's sake, RUN Someone OVER! Paige and Tina get back, still riding in the limo, as Laurie and James look on. Whereas Laurie's often wailing whereas Paige talks of funds overruns, now that the shoe's on the opposite foot... ... Laurie's nonetheless wailing (about time constraints) and Paige continues to be speaking about finances overruns. Some issues by no means change. Maybe we could get collectively on weekends and you could possibly take orders...? Guys? Guys? General Doug's military lastly disbands. Doug makes some cryptic feedback concerning the marble for the fireplace. It's common because it's bigger than the universe. Laurie and Paige put an enormous painting on the mantle. "It's form of a universal painting, 'cause it is a panorama, however but it is received an abstract(?) quality...." I believe it overwhelms the fireplace. Paige uses the phrase "Kick it up a notch." Emeril's gonna kick your ass, Paige. BAM! General Doug and his final two troopers are holed up in a tent in Plymouth.... Doug says it is playtime! Whee! Time to move the furnishings in! What? Doug's got one kinky concept of enjoyable. Holy Hell, she said "Heck"! Laurie discusses missing marble (Oy vey.) and says she knows she didn't put it in her automobile because it's "heavy as heck". This deserves its own merchandise. Well, no, but I thought of this next headline and could not go it up: You lost them a very long time in the past, honey. Oh, it is singular. Never thoughts. After some pretty muted agonizing (for Laurie) about her misplaced marble, Ty comes alongside and reads his strains admirably, 'unintentionally' implicating Doug in naughtiness. Paige asks if Laurie's being set up. Laurie says no. Obviously not, since we've tripped previous the land of in all probability-scripted into oh-boy-is-this-fake. Laurie goes on the hunt for Doug. Doug is outdoors hiding a tile cutter and tossing marble away from said cutter. Laurie sneaks up behind him - he should borrow some of Ty's magic early warning system mojo - and confronts him. Probably the most memorable part being when Laurie says "You possibly can run, darling, however you can't cover!" That's not memorable, what's memorable is that Doug is bobbing up and down (hiding tile) and but she seems to keep her eyes locked on the place Doug's head could be if he weren't bobbing. Is the cue card guy over there or one thing? The Realm of The Archon vs. The Land of Laurie: The bloody battle for supremacy continues. James, unable to play sounding board for Laurie's value-tallying ways, proclaims that the lamp shades Laurie bought are ninety bucks a pop. Tina says "Well, James, we're residing within the Land of Laurie and that is chump change." Best quote all episode. Laurie slips Doug the tongue: That'll keep you reading. Well, really, she grabs his face, sticks out her tongue, and makes a raspberry noise. Apt punishment for stealing marble tile, to make certain. But given the quantity of saliva that may throw, I believe it's close enough to depend as an intimate gesture. Paige, in fact, comes alongside and deflates Laurie's balloon by mentioning the electrician thing. Laurie and Paige run away laughing. Doug is left alone, confused and angry. When will the hurting cease, Paige? But that scene was nice leisure. Compared to the Ty/Amy Wynn battle, anyway. Watching Doug nonchalantly toss marble round was a deep and profound expertise of high quality that the folks of the world should be compelled to see for their own benefit. Quickies: Memorable moments from the ultimate meeting montage: 1) Ty and James hook up the Tv, DVD, and so on. Except they don't use any cables. They never use any cables on reveals like these. 2) Laurie placing the Italian drapes, mirror, and chair multi functional handy place for unity. That, and so Marmaduke can wreck them all with one badly-aimed leap. Munchies! Ty, ever the gent- oh, used that line before. Ty makes to bust open a bag of chips all over Laurie's springfall-fresh room, all whereas scuffing the espresso desk with his shoes. Doug, on the other hand, lastly hangs the large lampshade he purchased at the top of the episode. Paige pronounces that time's up whereas roaming round alone in the dead of night with a flashlight. I guess Laurie bought her back for that golf cart incident. And if not, I wish to find a method to blame Laurie anyway. The earlier than and afters make one thing obvious: The rooms swapped colours. The kitchen that was once heavy on yellows and other brilliant colors is now blue-grey. The blue-gray living room is now yellow. Chestertown Buff, sorry. Repeated jokes and outdated puns: Ah, the pre-commercial bumper the place Doug's obtained Laurie slung over his shoulder. If you're anticipating some joke about Doug having Laurie throughout him, then you are going to be disappointed. Not as a result of I'm above that, I just couldn't suppose of 1 to trump the tongue joke. But is Laurie wearing something below her shirt or is that her unnaturally pale again I'm seeing the place her shirt rides up? Chit-chat time: I'll inform you, after two hours of Laurie in that one outfit, the pink sleeveless quantity she has on for the chat is a welcome change. Man, and I thought I was pale. Incidentally, Ty's cocktail desk is neat. A bit busy for the room, however neat. Oh, and the value of the fabric for the curtains? $120 per yard. I knew she'd beat Doug. Only technique to trump silk is to seize an imported bolt of Italian fabric. Final price range: $49,300. That misplaced $seven-hundred pains Ms. Smith drastically. My opinion on the room? Laurie commonplace, solely extra fabric-obnoxious. Cluttered. Pieces are, for essentially the most half, nice individually, but the room cannot handle 'em all. The flowers that vanish right at the tip of the stop-movement room redo is a pleasant touch, too. Reveal? Big deal: Did Barbie look not-terribly-amazed when she first opened her eyes? What a part of the room was she taking a look at? John notices the Tv. He's making an attempt to redeem himself, good boy. Paige takes the opening to elucidate that Sony donated the Tv and associated rigging - it wasn't a part of the funds. Sure as hell hope they donated the wires too. Overall response: Amazed. Laurie and Ty hid in the kitchen and watched the reveal. Their opinion? Laurie thinks they beloved it. Ty's extra pragmatic: "Who wouldn't?" I feel he means the money quantity spent, not the design itself. But the assertion's ambiguous enough that I give him points for uncommon diplomacy. Oh, rattling, I can't hate him now. Ty's feedback to Laurie at the top, throughout her hand-clasping "I'd do this room again and again; I would not change a thing." gesturama, had been great. He asks, "You wouldn't lower down on a few of the knickknacks?" That and his sarcastic comment on how the room needed "one more piece of furniture" redeemed him. He's back in my good graces, but if it was between him and Amy Wynn, I'd nonetheless support her chopping his head off. Hate transference: Alternatively.... Judging by her "it won't fit" response to the "yet one more piece of furniture" comment, Laurie didn't notice Ty was being sarcastic. His easy "Oh, I do know that." was amazingly diplomatic, extra so than my "He's being sarcastic, you brainless mass of Italian-fabric-draped ego!" or one thing to that effect. Let's see what he's cookin' up tonight. Today. Good. The kitchen's nice, except for the countertop. Say what you'll, the white cupboards plus the white countertop and the halogen lights is just too much. Something needs to be gray, or something rather less vibrant and stark. Even white with some sample. I simply realized that they moved the stove. Man, that is gonna be a hard room for the homeowners to cook in for some time. Oh, and can the silk drapes survive that close to the cooking area? And while on the subject of drapes, I'd like to put in a vote against drapes that drag on the ground like this. You can not make a drape that drags look good! The desk nonetheless has shades of flamethrower abuse, although some magic has transformed it from godawful to tolerable. Four chairs, no sofa. None of them pointing at the Tv, which is excessive over the fireplace and also you'd need to crane your neck to look at it. Or lie down, which you cannot, because there's no sofa! Smooth move, Doug. Just needed to get a kind of "aesthetic" unusability methods in there. Paige nails it when she says the flatscreen "Looks like artwork up there!" Translation: You didn't wish to get artwork, and also you did not know the place to place the Tv, so you killed two birds with one stone. Final finances: $50,000 less $28. That's spectacular. It would be way more spectacular if he'd bought a painting for the fireplace and caught the Tv somewhere else. Like the place that "artisan" pal of Doug's was working. Two days and all he did art-sensible was three rectangles of paint? What the hell am I missing here? The residing room of the kitchen/dwelling/dining room combo is a bit cramped, which makes me think that Doug does two-and-a-half rooms for Laurie's one. Reveal? Bigger deal: They like the room. So much, it seems. Tina notices the kitchen's change in floor plan immediately. Paige doesn't appear to (or wish to) decide up on it and just retains speaking about the brand new stuff. Doug and Amy Wynn like the warm glow of giant quantities of money and Real Wood. Final verdict: I'm not fond of either one, but principally for usability points. Though I wasn't fond of them earlier than, they at the least looked such as you would not come out of them with neck cramps. We'll say okay job because of the low incidence of fatal screwups. Well.... I do hope you enjoyed these ten thousand plus words, however in the event you didn't, at least take consolation in my surprise at your studying the whole thing. Goodnight! Beat a hasty retreat to the main page.

Run along house. You're customer quantity:

This site and every thing on it are Copyright (C) The Archon 1999 - 2005, until otherwise noted. So there.

Trading Spaces is owned by these Banyan folks, or one thing. TLC's acquired one thing to do with it, too. I don't personal these. If I did, I'd in all probability fire Laurie. Or have Doug in front of a firing squad.

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